My words are failing me as I am writing this. Can empty souls feel the pangs of love? Those memories that had haunted me countless times, are still wrapped around my being. 'I really didn't want to be the one', I said aloud in my mind. But there you were again, dear love. Taking one step at a time. So what happens now? I asked. Does the darkness engulf our love? Or, does it go the other way around? Which way does it go? At 84 words this story can end in oblivion. But You are scared of it. So, did love win? Or,was it just a mere mirage in the sea of darkness? Mirages happen every once-over in a very long time. I had one,a few years before. And since then, I have been floating in the sea of darkness searching for my lost soul. Teardrops. What!  I hear teardrops. But where? Where is it coming from? I am losing myself in the darkness. I need to find my way there. I am exhilarated. The sound seems liberating. I need to get there. But, stop. What am I  even doing here?  That's not the path I was aiming for. What if that's the way to oblivion -- and You are scared of it.

When you feel empty

Did you ever feel trapped in your own body? Did you ever feel like what you are doing is not what you want to be doing? Then, well you should read this.

I had been these asking questions since a pretty long time and since a pretty long time I had been trapped in my own self. I am a physics major with not so bad grades yet I yearn for more. What is it that I yearn for? I simply couldn't tell. I have a nice family, a great boyfriend and some really good friends. But still I always felt incomplete. Like something was missing; Something like a piece of puzzle or a board game( a board game might not be the best analogy though). Most nights, would try and fill that missing parts of me with mindless conversations with mindless people or yearning for attention from unknown and strange sources, yet it had always remained empty. Sometimes after the day unable to fill the emptiness in me I would cry myself to bed, with a hope that someday something will come by that might just fill it up. Sometimes I would just binge watch on Netflix to fill up the empty time. Usually I try and fill up as much of my time as possible. I am scared of free time. I am scared of the fact that my emptiness would just catch up with me. However, although I try real hard it eventually does, just before I go to sleep, and that is when I cry my heart silently, while some-others sleep.



To be continued...( as I continue to bore you with this rant on my personal life)

Note: I am sadistic. It just makes me feel better that you hate this post. Reading this is actually 40 secs of pure torture for you :D

solitude is the way, poem by inadilemma

                             

  Solitude is the way

                                                                

                                              Leave me alone,

And I'll be nice to you;

Bother me

And I'll never be.

Solitude is the writer's tryst,

Loneliness a way of life.

Can I show you?

Do you know my greatest fears?

Things that make me tremble and sneer.

The phone ringing,people speaking

And when you call me in the middle of my dreams.

And indubitably when I speak.

I never speak the way I write,

Nor write the way I think,

And alas! Half of it remains uncovered,

And half of it is steel.

And then rings the phone again,

In the middle of my write,

Shall I ignore?

Shall I pick?

Can I talk again?

I see your call,

I do not pick,

I ignore,

Once,twice and thrice.

I know you want to speak

But can you leave me alone this time.

Yet talk to me when I want to,

About stuff I really like;

Talk to me about moons and stars

And love and hope alike.

Talk to me about dreams you see

Talk to me of the humming bee.

Talk to me of trees and grass

Rain and snow alike.

TAlk TAlk TAlk

And stop again

And leave again 

Until the phone rings for you

This time.

 poem by inadilemma