When you feel empty

Did you ever feel trapped in your own body? Did you ever feel like what you are doing is not what you want to be doing? Then, well you should read this.

I had been these asking questions since a pretty long time and since a pretty long time I had been trapped in my own self. I am a physics major with not so bad grades yet I yearn for more. What is it that I yearn for? I simply couldn't tell. I have a nice family, a great boyfriend and some really good friends. But still I always felt incomplete. Like something was missing; Something like a piece of puzzle or a board game( a board game might not be the best analogy though). Most nights, would try and fill that missing parts of me with mindless conversations with mindless people or yearning for attention from unknown and strange sources, yet it had always remained empty. Sometimes after the day unable to fill the emptiness in me I would cry myself to bed, with a hope that someday something will come by that might just fill it up. Sometimes I would just binge watch on Netflix to fill up the empty time. Usually I try and fill up as much of my time as possible. I am scared of free time. I am scared of the fact that my emptiness would just catch up with me. However, although I try real hard it eventually does, just before I go to sleep, and that is when I cry my heart silently, while some-others sleep.



To be continued...( as I continue to bore you with this rant on my personal life)

Note: I am sadistic. It just makes me feel better that you hate this post. Reading this is actually 40 secs of pure torture for you :D